My doubt and fear were present inside me, but were easily overwhelmed by my determination and horny teenage need for sex. I stepped out of our front door, closed it quietly behind me and set off up the garden path and walked through the village. My plan was pretty simple…and pretty stupid when I think back on it. I was going to walk up to his door, knock and ask if I could come in. In my mind I had imagined that he would know immediately why I was there, and be so full of desire for me that he would invite me in and the rest would take care of itself. Walking through the village my adrenaline fuelled butterflies were so powerful they made my breathing shallow and my legs weak. After the short walk of a few minutes I was there. I stood across the road and took as deep a breath as I could manage, stepped off the curb and made the twenty paces to his door without passing out in excitement. I knocked weakly but without hesitation. The door opened. I remember him framed by the light. "Yeah mom, you really messed up big time. How could you do that to Daddy? He loved you so much. What did he do to deserve that?" It wasn't about your Dad. He didn't do anything wrong and he certainly didn't do anything to deserve this. I guess you could say I had some kind of pathetic mid life crisis. If you really want to know what happened, I'll tell you, don't you want to know the truth?" Dorothy sat down with her daughter and told her everything. The dull routine of the marriage, the empty house once all the kids were gone "everyone seemed to be going forward in their life but me." Then came the excitement of flirting, of being pursued and swept off my feet." I felt alive again. I thought I was feeling the true me again. Oh honey I was so confused and conflicted. And then I made that fateful decision to leave my husband for another man. To just up and go, no talking, to counseling, pfft! - it was all a cliché straight out of some trashy romance novel."Dorothy continued with how.
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